How to Cultivate Patience on Your Journey of Self-Discovery
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Rediscovering who you are takes time and patience. Not the kind of patience you use when you're waiting in line at the grocery checkout or listening to your teenage son explain how he dented your car.
The deeply soulful inner-work of self-discovery requires type patience that is understanding, accepting, and self-focused.
The journey will demand a lot from you. It will bring past trauma to light and challenge your old beliefs and behavioural patterns. For many, it will be painful. As you move more authentically into self, you must be patient if you genuinely want to heal. And how patient you are with yourself can make a world of difference in your progress.
Understanding that patience can help us on the journey of self-discovery is half the battle. We must also learn how to cultivate it.
In this post, we'll discuss how you can nurture your patience as you transition from who you are to who you want to be.
Patience and trust
At the heart of patience, we will find trust. Not only do you have to trust the process, but you also have to trust yourself. And that can be especially hard when you're rediscovering yourself.
But it's essential to believe that you're at this point in your life for a reason. Something in your life needs to change. And you are worthy of that change. You've reached this crossroad because you can no longer ignore those inner stirrings.
While you may be tempted to rush through the painful stuff, the point is not to rush at all. Of course, you want to feel better, happier, and complete, but hastening the process is to do yourself a disservice. Instead, we have to sit with our feelings and trust that everything is unfolding as it should.
3 tips to help you cultivate patience
No matter where you are on this lifelong journey of discovery, you'll find that you need to rely heavily on your patience.
But if your patience is waning or lacking, what steps can you take to develop it?
Here I've listed the concepts that I believe can help you cultivate the patience you need on your path to living a more authentic life.
Reframe the situation
The mind-body connection is real and strong. Simply put, how we think affects how we feel. Like a swinging pendulum, these elements flow back and forth, influencing and affecting each other.
When we are impatient during our healing, it creates a negative emotional response that feeds into our thoughts and feelings. Those thoughts and feelings then feed back into our emotional response. But when we reframe the situation, it can ease impatience, which can create positive feelings around progress.
So what can you do to reframe a negative mindset? You can begin by viewing your situation differently.
Understand that your journey is a process. Healing isn't a straight race to the finish line. It's a road you haven't gone down before, so be easy on yourself. It's okay to go slow. And it's also okay to stumble and fall. It doesn't mean you’ve stopped. You're still on the right path, and you're still moving.
If you reframe your thoughts to be positive and self-affirming, you change the narrative, as well as your feelings. So instead of lamenting, "Why am I not further in my journey?" congratulate yourself on how far you've come. This will give you the confidence you need to keep going.
2. Practice mindfulness
Another way to cultivate patience is through mindfulness. Living a more authentic life requires digging deep and being honest with yourself and others. And authenticity requires mindfulness. Mindfulness of your thoughts, emotions, and how you interact in your relationships and with yourself.
To be authentic is to be present in your life.
It means asking tough questions and being curious enough to find the answer. When we practice mindfulness, we notice what's happening within us and around us. We get a clearer picture of how negative thoughts, fears, other people's opinions have affected us.
When you cultivate patience, it forces you to slow down and become more aware of yourself and your motivations.
3. Exercise gratitude
The science is clear: gratitude is key to a happier and healthier life.
Exercising gratitude promotes mental, physical, and emotional well-being and fosters confidence - everything you will need to support yourself through this process.
But how should you begin? As you go through your journey, consider each step and find areas where you can focus your gratitude. You can start by appreciating:
What's been working well in your life
Achievements you've made thus far
Support you've received from friends or family
The process itself, as you move from one stage to another
The patience you've shown in allowing the process to unfold
While each journey is unique, there is always something to be thankful for.
Patience and progress
As you work toward cultivating patience on your journey to self, consider this quote by Yasmin Mogahed. "The poison leaves bit by bit, not all at once. Be patient. You are healing.”
The slow and winding healing process may have setbacks and places where you stall, but you aren't expected to speed through it. Instead, remain in the moment, understand that you are at this pivotal point for a reason. And have patience as you progress.
If you need help with healing trauma in your life, please feel free to contact me for a free consultation.