Patience and the Road to Self-Discovery
Are you on a journey of rediscovering who you are? Does it feel like your path is full of setbacks? Maybe it's harder or more painful than you thought it would be. Or perhaps you believe going down this road isn't right for you.
I'm here to tell you to wait; have patience. Because establishing a deeper connection with yourself takes time. And while it may feel like for every step forward, you take another two steps back, you are, indeed, making progress. The work of tearing down negative inner narratives and generational barriers can feel overwhelming, uncomfortable, and, yes, even painful. But you don't need an escape plan; you need to be patient with the process and yourself.
Our typical human inclination is to rush through things. We're eager to get to the end of this challenging road and start living more authentically. We're ready to be transformed. But we can't skip the work in between; it's bound to the experience.
If you've been questioning your progress, this post is for you. It's meant to encourage you to stay the course and remind you of the important role of patience in your journey.
Patience and healing
We all know what it is to have patience in our daily lives. But when we talk about patience related to healing trauma, we're really talking about moving from a space of rushing through to being with. Being with our thoughts and emotions. Being in the moment. And being where we are right now.
Doing the inner work required to change your life is hard. As we move through this internal struggle, it's common to experience thoughts like, "I don't feel good," "This hurts too much, "or "This feels uncomfortable." We anxiously want to move past these pain points and rid ourselves of these negative thoughts. But it's the last thing we should do. Patience at this critical juncture will help you be mindful of where you are so you can get to where you want to be.
We need to understand that the spiritual journey of healing is not linear; it's spiral. It has loops and slopes; sometimes you'll be up, sometimes down. What is integral to the journey is trust. Trusting that things are unfolding as they should and how they should. If you've been doing the work and you're committed to it, trust that you are on the right path. Even though it may not feel good, even though you may have imagined things unfolding differently--you are where you should be.
How can patience help?
Our bodies are messengers, and our emotions are data. These sources of information are always trying to tell us something. We just have to listen. So, when it comes to inner healing, we must pay attention to those signals from our bodies. We need to take the time to feel the feelings. Dig deep and examine those thoughts and emotions. Be curious. Ask yourself:
Where did it come from?
Why am I holding on to it?
How has it benefited me?
Do I still need it?
Many fears, feelings, and emotions will arise during this journey. And it will feel like everything is shifting and changing around you. You may even feel like giving up. But having the patience to work through that trauma is an integral part of the process. The pain or uncomfortableness is a temporary phase. Have trust that you will get to the other side.
What happens when we rush through or bypass our healing?
When we're doing the work of inner healing, we naturally want it to move along quickly. We want to feel better right away, so we force the issue. But rushing doesn't come without consequence. Skating over the rough stuff means we miss important lessons necessary for our healing. Consequences of rushing include:
Repetition. When we haven't learned a lesson, or we haven't fully resolved the lesson, it will show up again in our lives. It may look different - masquerading as another person, scenario, or circumstances. But, in reality, it will be the same. And it will trigger those same emotions and beliefs again, adding frustration, sadness, or unnecessary stress.
Poor decision-making. The quest for instant gratification can lead you to make decisions that don't resonate with who you are now. So, you end up making bad choices that aren't aligned with your journey or where you want to be. When we skip the self-reflection part of our journey, we miss the critical work around our beliefs. We miss the questioning that helps us grow, such as "Are these beliefs still true for me?", "Is this the person I want to be?", "Do I still want to be operating in this way?"
Sabotaging your progress. Rushing will only undermine your growth. Stay invested in your journey. Find out what is causing the unhappiness in your life, the inner struggle, or what doesn't fit or feel right anymore. Don't be afraid of those feelings; explore them. Being able to sit with uncomfortable feelings contributes to your transformation.
The benefit of cultivating patience
We know what happens when we don't have patience but what happens when we do? Cultivating patience is beneficial to our well-being and the journey itself. Here are some ways patience can support you on your path.
Improve decision-making. When you exercise patience during this period of change, you are more in tune with yourself. That deeper connection with the self allows us to make more thoughtful decisions. Decisions that reflect your values and beliefs now. Decisions that aren't based on the expectations of others or what you feel you should do.
Brings a sense of peace. When we're impatient, we're stressed. But when you make decisions based on what's right for you, you reduce stress and improve inner peace.
Builds strength. As you go through this journey to authenticity, what is important to you will change. Patience builds the inner resiliency you need to stand behind your values. It will help you identify what is authentic to you and be strong in that regardless of criticism or judgement.
Teaches self-kindness. Because we are often our own worst critics, we can be judgmental and down on ourselves. This is especially true when we're trying to rush through this process. We may wonder, "Why am I not feeling better yet?"; "Why didn't I know this before?"; "Why has this taken me so long to figure out?" Or you may blame yourself and believe that you're not good enough. Patience can teach us to hold space for ourselves and encourage self-kindness.
Forces you to be present. Living a more authentic life requires mindfulness. And mindfulness requires patience. Being present in the moment brings awareness to our reactions and situations. As we become mindful of our emotions, thoughts, relationships, and how we interact with ourselves, we become more aware of the driving forces in our lives. It helps us identify what needs to be broken and changed? Such as what is depleting our energy, what generational beliefs we carry, and what rituals or habits we practice that are not conducive to who we are today.
Patience as you continue on your journey
As you go through the journey of self-discovery, you'll find patience will be your best friend. Cultivate your patience to help you withstand the most challenging parts of this journey. Through patience, you will come to understand that you're doing the best that you can, you are making progress, and what you're doing is hard, and it takes time.
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